Pursuit of the Holy: Halfway through chap. 2

I must be redundant and say, "Wow"... but a tad bit on the solemn side.

For more than a week, I've been trying to figure out what this "weird feeling" in me was- like friction created from the unraveling of something. Transparent before God, I put a host of things I was dealing with before Him, pleading the blood of Jesus to continue to show me Me and deliver me from ME. Combined with a conversation with Faith (iron sharpens iron) and just the spirit of truth that I'm encountering, I realize the unraveling within me is the unraveling of religious ways and thinking I've grown up with. Many have gone to church like me, knowing what to say and act, how to analyze scripture, and basically "act" holy. Yet, with each new encounter of God's wisdom through prayer, fasting, and giving, those things began to unfold before my spirit and reveal to me their shortcomings. No, I will never in a lifetime KNOW God; that is eternity in and of itself. But my yearning to do so has been great as I feel my growing pains within me.

As she always does, Faith ministered to me and brought truth to some things I was hearing and contemplating on. Every TIME we talk, I humbly accept the fact that "there is always, always, always another thing- mountain." Yet, as she so clearly reminded me, if the Word of God says I can move a mountain if I have faith the size of a mustard seed, how come I haven't moved the mountain? Not climb it or walk around it, but me actually casting it into the sea? As she talked, I began to feel the unraveling in me build to a point of physical discomfort. After talking to her and Emmanuel while sitting in the garage (double dose of the same thing, just different perspectives)- still in the van- I began to cry. Why? I realized with sincerity how much I hate religion and the bondage it has created in me and others. God! I just want to know You and your heart- see your people as You see them- through the eyes of Jesus Christ! I just want all of this religious "stuff" to fall away, me able to completely encounter and sustain your glory.



Man... as I reflect on the title of chapter 2, "Tasting Eternity," I realize more and more THAT is why I am being broken, rebirthed, and made to encounter...

"THY kingdom come, thy will be done on earth AS IT IS IN HEAVEN."

Once we understand what this really means, maybe we'll get somewhere in our day-to-day lives- knowing and actually doing what we've always been purposed to do.